There are moments when life gets so heavy, so strange, that a single question rises above the noise —
Why Me? Why Now?
This space is where I’ve come to sit with that question. Not to answer it fully, but to breathe through it.
🌀
The Moment It All Changed
It wasn’t one thing.
Not some thunderous moment or tragic headline in my own life.
It was slower. Quieter.
A slow drip of days that didn’t feel like mine anymore.
Smiles that felt like stickers, not feelings.
Conversations that left me lonelier than silence.
The kind of tired that sleep doesn’t fix.
At some point, I stopped saying “I’m fine.”
Not because I wasn’t —
but because I had no idea what “fine” was supposed to mean.
That’s when it showed up.
Not loudly. No lightning bolts.
Just a whisper, echoing on a very ordinary morning:
Why me? Why now?
🎭
Sitting with the Question
Sometimes I genuinely wonder if the universe is just… bored.
Like it spun a giant wheel of misfortune and landed on my name. Again.
“Let’s see what happens if we throw this one more curveball,”
the cosmic forces giggle, probably over wine and popcorn.
Maybe it’s karma. Maybe I was a medieval tax collector.
Or maybe I just said “no worries” too many times in past lives
and now all the worries are filing in for revenge.
I get angry, of course.
Then tired.
Then I breathe like some emotionally exhausted yogi-in-training
and try to mine a life lesson out of the rubble.
Some days I feel like I’m healing—
and bam! Surprise punch in the gut,
courtesy of the Universe’s “Character Development Department.”
But you know what?
I’ve started keeping score.
And despite it all, I’m still upright,
slightly sarcastic, emotionally winded,
but undefeated.
🪑
Signs, Shifts, and Small Clues
Not everything was doom and dramatic sighs.
Sometimes, the universe slipped me a breadcrumb.
Not a loaf — just a crumb. But still.
A warm mug of tea that didn’t fix anything
but felt like it could.
A tarot card that said “patience”
right as I was rage-refreshing my email inbox.
A tail wag. A soft purr.
The sun hitting the window just right on a day
I almost didn’t look up.
Sometimes I laughed —
not because things were funny,
but because the alternative was crying in public again.
And honestly? My mascara couldn’t take it.
There were no fireworks.
No sudden clarity.
Just these quiet, ordinary signs
that maybe, just maybe,
the universe wasn’t only out to get me.
🌱